Nikolai Dzhumagaliev

5Nikolai Dzhumagaliev From: Kazakhstan Why You Don't Want to Meet Him: is as close to a real life as you can get. The main difference is that Dzhumagaliev has metal teeth. Operating in 1980 in the former Soviet Union, Dzhumagaliev is one of the most prolific serial killer cannibals the country has ever seen. Affectionately called 'Metal Fang' for the set of white, metal teeth which had replaced his own chompers (making himself a sort of hybrid between Lecter and Jaws from ), Dzhumagaliev is said to have killed and eaten somewhere between 50 to 100 women. And even served a few portions to his unknowing friends.

'No, seriously, Nikolai, what is in this?' No, we didn't make this guy up. Why You Might Meet Him Anyway: After being sentenced to a mental institution in Uzbekistan and escaping once, the government decided that less than 10 years of rehabilitation was enough for this serial killer and simply let him go. 'And you PROMISE you won't eat any more women?' So Where Is He Now? Very little is known of Dzhumagaliev's current whereabouts, though he is said to be living with his relatives in Eastern Europe.

However, being a free man and all, he can travel anywhere he pleases. Perhaps a place where almost no one has heard of him.

Like your town, for example. It could be your neighbor. Nikolai has always been described as a very charming and well-spoken man, and one not bad to look at to boot (which only helped him lure more women into his fridge). The Jaws teeth are, thankfully, a dead give away.

But hey, he could totally blend in at a James Bond convention. Unless he keeps his mouth closed, in which case he could blend in anywhere at all. Your basement, for instance. Why You Might Meet Her Anyway: As bad as Karla was, apparently her husband was worse. Despite a mountain of conflicting statements from Karla and Paul, she managed to get a plea bargain in exchange for rolling over on her man.

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She served 12 years in prison and was released in 2005. So Where Is She Now? In 2007, Homolka decided that the only place for her and her one-year-old son to live a normal life were the Antilles. So now, she can be anywhere in Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, the Dominican Republic or Puerto Rico. You might think that Latin America is not the perfect place for a skinny Canadian blonde to hide but. We don't know how to finish that sentence.

What a monster. Either way, if while vacation you spot a MILF in her late 30s and want to make sure she is not your type (you know, the raping-killer type), then just remember that the courts have denied Homolka the change of her name. So a quick 'Hey Karla' shout-out should clear everything up. If she turns around, that will be your cue to try to break the 500 meter dash record. 3Juha Valjakkala From: Sweden/Finland Why You Don't Want to Meet Him: On July 3, 1988, a then 22-year-old stole a bike. He was spotted and chased by the owners of the bike, Sten Nilsson and his 15-year-old son Fredrik. The chase ended at a nearby cemetery where, cornered and facing a bike theft charge, Juha used the method of avoiding misdemeanors: He shot the father and son to death.

Suddenly realizing he had just made his situation quite a bit worse, he thought one way to redeem himself would be by killing Sten's wife, too. He was arrested a week later. 'You don't really get crime, do you?' Why You Might Meet Him Anyway: After an evaluation labeled him a psychopath (money well spent, Finland!), Juha escaped from prison four times (most recently in 2006). The legal system over there decided this was a pretty good indication that he was both reformed and cured of his psychopathy, and after serving 19 years of his life sentence the Finnish courts. So Where Is He Now?

After being released, Juha did what any man in his position would do after spending almost 20 years in jail for brutal murder: he stole a car, drove recklessly through the streets and in a surprisingly specific type of crime, drove an unlicensed taxi. Seriously, the man was living GTA. Even Niko's taxi was licensed, for Christ's sake. This little stunt caused him a trip back to the slammer. But if you were just starting to feel safer about your planned vacation in Scandinavia, then we have some bad news for you.